Appendix 10: Accessible text version of the Improving your writing prompts and outputs
Prompt:
Please give me feedback on this writing sample: Climate change has been talked about in political, cultural, legal, social and economic terms, but ultimately it is an ethical issue. The world’s use of fossil fuels, particularly in developed nations, is leading to an unprecedented increase the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, causing climate change as the atmosphere heats up and weather systems are disrupted and changed (Schlesinger, 2011). This affects every aspect of life on earth, as people are forced out of their homes, and killed by extreme weather events, habitat is lost causing wide spread extinctions, and our very way of life is threatened. This is a problem beyond politics or economics, this is an ethical problem, that requires a solution (McKibben, 2012). Ethics is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “moral principles that govern a person’s behaviour or the conducting of an activity”; If we accept that we have a moral obligation to prevent the loss of human life; property, culture and way of life, than we must accept climate change as an ethical issue (Dictionaries, 2010). Furthermore if we believe that we have a moral obligation to future generations, to sustain and develop the standard of human living, and to preserve the world’s natural resources and to ensure the future viability of the planet to then we must accept that climate change is an ethical issue (Adger & Paavola, 2006). As the preservation of human life, dignity, rights, and development of further generations are more important than economy or politics, and supersede the needs of industry and profit, we have an ethical obligation to phase out our unsustainable use of fossil fuels. The effects of climate change are often felt most in the poorest nations, who not only have fewer resources to deal with the impacts, but are also proportionally less responsible for the emissions driving the changes (Pachauri, 2010). Low lying island nations, found largely in the Pacific Ocean, are amongst the first nations to face devastating impacts of climate change; higher tides, stronger and more frequent storm surges are forcing some citizens to have to plan for the relocation from their homes, permanently, losing their way of life, their land, and potentially culture (Samir, 2006). Other low lying nations such as Bangladesh have already experienced loss of life, land and infrastructure due to increased intensity and frequency of flooding and other weather events (Samir, 2006). Not only are these nations on the forefront of climate change impacts, as some of the poorest nations on earth, they have far less economic capacity to put in place adaptive measures, to preserve their way of life and their land (Tol, 2009). And as these are developing nations, with few resources and industry, their greenhouse gas emissions are tiny compared with their rich counterparts in other nations enjoying the benefits and luxuries of a carbon intensive lifestyle (Singer, 2004).
Output
Your writing sample is well-structured and presents a clear argument about the ethical implications of climate change. You have effectively used a range of sources to support your points, which adds credibility to your argument.
However, there are a few areas that could be improved:
Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few instances where the grammar and punctuation could be improved. For example, in the sentence “If we accept that we have a moral obligation to prevent the loss of human life; property, culture and way of life, than we must accept climate change as an ethical issue”, the semicolon should be replaced with a comma, and “than” should be replaced with “then”.
Clarity: Some sentences are quite long and complex, which can make them difficult to understand. For example, the sentence “Furthermore if we believe that we have a moral obligation to future generations, to sustain and develop the standard of human living, and to preserve the world’s natural resources and to ensure the future viability of the planet to then we must accept that climate change is an ethical issue” could be broken down into smaller sentences to improve clarity.
Consistency: Ensure consistency in your terminology. For example, you have used both “climate change” and “global warming”. While these terms are related, they have slightly different meanings, so it would be best to stick with one term unless you are specifically discussing the differences.
Referencing: Ensure that all your references are correctly formatted according to the referencing style you are using.
Remember, writing is a process and it’s always beneficial to revise and edit your work. Keep up the good work! Text created by generative AI: RMIT (2024). Val [Large language model]. https://val.rmit.edu.au The text copied to the clipboard is current as of 30 January 2024.
